

“If you can spot a theme in all the randomness, then that’s how it all comes together,” Ms. It can center on the bride’s obsession with finding the perfect taco, or the groom’s horrible singing voice. Eustache said she has noticed an increase in speeches about resilience and perseverance since the pandemic, but your theme doesn’t have to be lofty. “It will help you stay focused and not be too long-winded, and build an outline,” said Carla Eustache, 38, the owner of Style Perfect Events, which is based in Charlotte, N.C. Instead of talking about everything there is to know about the couple, narrow it down by identifying a theme.

A quick, “Thanks for coming” won’t ruin a speech, but it shouldn’t be the focus.


You can thank people individually, and instead center your speech on stories, humor and emotion. “Anyone who has listened to an Oscars acceptance speech knows that thank yous are boring,” Ms. Ditch the Thank Yousĭon’t start your speech by thanking the guests, the DJ, the florist, the parents, and the band. Gather stories or find out traits or quirks about the couple that other friends or family love. Ellert-McDermott suggests inviting the couple or other friends to brainstorm with you. “Don’t confine it to this secret thing that has to be done in a dark room the night before when you’re panicking,” she said. Ellert-McDermott suggests making it a group effort. There’s a tendency to think of the speech-writing process as something solitary, but Speechy’s Ms. “Start by asking yourself why you’re giving the speech,” said Tess Barker, 38, a Los Angeles-based comedian who has a “deep résumé as a bridesmaid.” Thinking about your relationship to the couple can help you focus on memories you share, and remind you that you’re not giving a State of the Union address - you’re simply speaking to someone you care about. If you’re staring at a blank page, take a step back and think about your relationship to the couple. If you’ve been charged with saying a few words about the couple, there are a few things to remember that will help you ease your anxiety and inspire you to speak from the heart. As such, there’s more pressure on speeches to bring a weightiness or gravitas to the event, I think. “The fact that two people want to tackle that tomorrow together feels especially noteworthy. “We’re all so acutely aware that no one has any idea what tomorrow will bring,” said Marisa Polansky, a founder of the Brooklyn-based speech writing service Speech Tank with Kristine Keller. Public speaking, whether it’s in front of 10 people or 100, can be intimidating, and if you’ve ever sat through a lengthy, cliché-riddled wedding speech, you know it’s not so easy to pull off a memorable toast. Love them or hate them, “a speech gives people something to talk about, and it’s an amazing bonding juice,” says Heidi Ellert-McDermott, the founder of Speechy, a British company that creates bespoke speeches for weddings around the world. But one tradition has stayed strong, and even thrived, over the last year: the wedding speech. Massive parties with 10-piece bands and champagne fountains gave way to backyard microweddings and Zoom celebrations during the pandemic.
